He never knew what was going to happen to him as he lay in absolute peace confident about his status as the king when out of nowhere he was tortured on a flame stripped down and massacred.
It started with the menu of the guesthouse where I am currently put up. The cook I believe must be one of Inzamamam -ul-haq's (inzie) biggest fans. Why? Because he is totally in love with Alu. The only thing on the menu is Alu. There's Alu Gobi, Alu mutter, Alu Jeera. My previous experience with Alu dishes happened in the Hastings guesthouse where Mr Kailash (Remember 'The hand that rocks the Ladle - I') used to cook Alu only to increase his ROI (Alu being a relatively - with due respect to inflation cheap vegetable). So I told the gentleman to cook Baingan ka Bharta.
Baingan Bharta for people who like brinjals is this preparation of Brinjal which is quite tasty though not the easiest thing to manufacture. Baingan Bharta in fact had this quite long stint in Hindi movies where the mother tells his son that she has made him his favourite Baingan ka Bharta which probably affected my impressionable mind. Anyway the cook with absolute (Haryanvi) confidence convinced me ki ho jaayega. The reason I say Haryanvi confidence is because of the absolute confidence which the people in Gurgaon have on getting anything and everything done.
The poor Baingan meanwhile never knew what was coming to him. The Baingan Bharta involves this very braveheart style torture of the Baingan. In fact it would be probably the cruelest veg dish made. The poor Baingan is literally burnt alive till he gives out this awesome smokey taste which is then enhanced with some seasoning and yes most importantly the pinch of salt.
Discrediting a cook's culinary skills is like saying Jack and Jill knew nothing about rolling down the hill. So with a heavy heart I must say that the guy literally raped the Brinjal. There was enough salt in the dish to give the dead sea a complex. Though however he was kind enough to give me dal with Zero salt (must be all those healthy ads on TV).
Having been taught as a child never to waste food I found an easy way to make the entire lot palatable by mixing the dal with the bharta. I did after the dinner however mention to him quite apologetically that he had messed up feeling quite guilty because after all it was my idea.
I am yet to see anyone get so worked up about constructive criticism, He felt most annoyed that the salt dish did not appeal to me and then quite sarcastically asked me how come I had had the entire bowl to which I equally sarcastically replied that I mixed the dal to match the salt levels.
Anyway post some muttering and alu muttering and gnashing of teeth, he settled down and then told me that alu was back on the menu to which I readily agreed believing the alu would at least take the edge of the excess salt and we settled down to some peace and another discussion on hockey of which he has become quite an expert courtesy yours truly.
In memory of the happless brinjal.
Luv,
Pranay
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