2 sleep deficient weekends really haven't helped me catch up on my sleep quotient. The first weekend was with friends who had come over to stay and then last weekend was spent at the railway station. First sat night to receive my parents, sis and nephew coming from Mumbai and then sunday morning to receive my granny.
There is something about a woman's touch which makes a house seem better. I've come home to fruit baskets and flowers. My mother has taken it upon herself to make my house habitable. So the clothes have been rearranged. My gym clothes cupboard is now filled with bedsheets and curtains. My cutlery portfolio has been extended from forks to an assortment of spoons and knives and there is home cooked food.
Anyway Maa, sis and me headed out to Metro because me in a moment of absolute idiocity described it as this awesomely wonderful place to shop. Metro tends to get a lil crowded on Sunday mornings, so I was forced to wake up at 900 and reached there by 1030.
Shopping in malls is one instance when gender equality goes out of the window. However much a woman believes in equality, she still expects a guy to push the shopping cart. The hierarchy of shopping is quite clearly defined. The woman decides, the man pushes the cart.
It is actually quite a fascinating sight to see happless men push around their carts while the women decide what is to be bought. On every second corner is a guy waiting while his wife compares the price of every possible brand of what she wants to buy. She then computes how much would she save if she bought three or four of the same thing (bulk discounts you know). Then after a series of calculations too complex for the male mind to fathom, she decides to keep the product in the cart and then walks three steps ahead and realises that she really didn't need that product so she promptly junks it.
There is also the situation when the woman at the fruits counter on one side of the hypermart, realizes she really really needs a toilet cleaner located at the other end so she looks at the man with a soulful expression and the poor guy has to push the cart all the way back. There is no way that he can refuse.
I having been a victim of such shopping, carefully chalked out a plan which meant we had to cover all aisles in a very structured manner, at least as structured as it can be. Which is when I observed the different types of shoppers.
The first type are the racers. These are generally the modern DINK couples or bachelors like me. They really are not for there for the bargains. The discounts are incidental, they just want a nice a/c atmosphere to shop in
The second are the bargain hunters. They just have to check each and every product till they find the ideal bargain. They check each and every product for discounts till they find the cheapest one.
Then come the scrutinizers. Generally this group are represented by the slightly elderly. They believe that all the stuff written on a product has to be read. They would make great proof readers and excellent brand ex :D.
Also important are the gigotos. Not to be mistaken with gigolos, gigotos are those people who firmly believe that grass is greener on the other side (G.I.G.O.T.O.S.). These people keep looking into the adjoining baskets. They are always sure that someone else has got a better product or a better bargain. You can actually trick them into buying something really expensive just by putting it into your cart/basket :).
Fifth come the hoarders. These are the gullible people that we marketeers love. They actually believe that the special offer of the day will never be repeated. So whenever they see something which looks remotely cheap, they hoard up irrespective of the fact that it may expire before they can use it.
Anyway I stood at the shopping counter poorer by a few thousand of fmcg products and richer by a microwave oven gifted by maa and sis. I looked back and saw a guy trying to smuggle a shaving cream into the cart he was pushing for his wife. The woman held his hand, looked at the price and placed it back all in one single smooth motion. He didnt even react.
Enriched with this new aspect of shopping I walked out towards the car when I saw a woman being followed by her cart pusher. It was like the scene from seabiscuit when seabiscuit the horse passes tom the trainer. Tom swears that it was the moment he saw the spirit in seabiscuit. In my case I saw this middle aged man who was probably a tyrant boss in his daily work life, trudging behind his wife. I looked into his eyes and saw absolute despondance. I flashed my most sympathetic smile.
In the hierarchy of shopping, a married man is the lowest level in the pyramid, the cart pusher. It is men like these who are responsible for many a family running smoothly. The true heroes of the shopping experience. I stood in silence for the two minutes he took to enter the mall.
Respectfully,
Luv,
PR
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