'B. K. Jaulanji.'
I start typing ' B K Jalanji'
'B nahi bhi'
I look at the guy with a hostile expression. and type ' B...'
'arre, Bhi, Bhi for Bhictory'
Not again.
Welcome to my life.
My day starts at 7 am. That's the time when most people, excepting for my dad and nephew are asleep. They anyway love getting up at unearthly hours, each has his own reasons.
The reason for my getting up this early is Durga. Durga our maid servant is bong. But unlike 90% of the Bong population who were blessed with beautiful voices, she chooses to shriek. Durga very categorically told us on our first day in our house that she would arrive at 07:30.
Next morning Ding Dong.
I always believed I was blessed with a very good internal clock. One which has always woken me 5 minutes earlier than my alarm clock. It rarely fails. One failiure almost cost me my MBA, but that's another story.
I looked at my phone which read '0715'
I got up with half a mind to blast whoever it was, and there was Durga. She placed the newspaper into my hand and sashayed into the living room with a look that said ' You lazy bum'. Since only an earthquake would wake Karan, my flat mate that early, it was poor happless me who was always at the receiving end of that early morning wake up call.
So after a week of humiliation, I decided 7:00 am it is. I set my alarm with a vengeance. Somehow got myself out of my cot and picked up the newspaper.
'Ding dong'.
First ring and the door was open. Durga was astounded. 'Beat that'.
I repeated the routine for a couple of days, till one day she decided 7:30 is a decent time. Now poor me has got used to waking up at 7 and she comes in only by 7:30.
The result of this shift to 0730 am was that I would generally be in the loo. So Karan with the imitation of a zombie in a cheap Japanese movie, opens the door, walks back and drops dead till around 8:30.
Pranay 1 Durga 0.
My waking up early means that I can now eat my breakfast in peace or so I think. One day as I was busy eating my cereal with curd (I'm lactose intolerant), Durga creeps up behind our very nice rocking chair and shrieks 'Bhaiya, Powder khatam hogaya'.
I would gladly have bought her a depot full of Surf washing powder, just so that she would stop shrieking but then Karan had assured me that we had enough Surf for a month.
So I put up a brave front and say 'Nahi poore mahine ka powder hain'
'Nahin bhaiya powder khatam huaa'
I decide enough is enough and tell her 'Aap Karan Bhaiya se baat karo'
She gives me a look which says spineless wimp. Karan meanwhile is in unconscious world, oblivious to the harm in store for his ear drums.
I live to hear another day.
Pranay 1 Durga 1. The battle continues.